French macarons will be the death of me

I would guess that this recipe would go by easier and quicker if I can actually use almond powder/flour--- problem is, my son is deathly allergic to all nuts and tree nuts. I challenged myself thinking, eh, what's the big deal anyway, there are A MILLION flour substitutes out there. I also would have to bash my head on a wall for even daring to think that to begin with.

Yesterday, after months of dilly-dallying over the idea of French macarons, I jumped for it. I went to the local specialty store, grabbed a bag of coconut flour and coconut flakes. I tried a recipe I found online for nutless macarons and they were ABOMINABLE! I basically just had mounds of the American version--- but worse. They were dry, icky and not beautiful like they should be.

Attempt 2--- they looked like sugar cookies. At least i was on the right track, I was able to put it in a piping bag and i was able to squeeze it out.

Attempt 3-- a lot more successful. It was a bit chunky since the coconut flour tends to do that and I didn't tap the bottom of the pan out, but I got a very delicious result out of it. This was my end result:

See-- chunkier. Delicious though, oh man, I can stuff my mouth about a million of those. Today though, I wanted to solve the "chunk" issue so I ran again to the local specialty store and bought soy and coconut flour again, but a different brand.

OHHHH MYYY GODDDD! I'm pretty sure before I got my "good" result today, I ended up with several choux like macarons. I'm making freaking macarons here, not croquembouche (that is for a different day. It would be the "death of me par deux"). I'm just very grateful I have a wonderful husband that kept telling me that I can do it, I can make delicious and beautiful almond-less macarons. He's such a doll, without him, I would have pulled a Julie Powell type of tantrum and it wouldn't be cool because I complained many times about how horrible she was about the whining. I guess it's something about French cooking though, even worse, French pastry--- it tests you. This macaron recipe is the EASIEST recipe I've ever done, not many ingredients, easy to edit to a specific flavor, but it's technique. I have the technique but experimenting with the ingredients just fail me a lot, and this is the love of a mother talking here. I want my son to experience MACARONS!!

I went back, with my head up high, I can't remember how many eggs I've cracked and I got this:


My vision is so clouded I can't even tell if these are better or worse than the ones from yesterday. One thing is for sure though--- yep, I will try again. I have about 2 cups of coconut flour and 2 cups of powdered sugar left. I found a printable macaron template and I will go for it. I'll have a good cry tonight if I come out of this alive.